John's Jargon: 9th Edition

John’s Jargon

From Professional Wrestling to Baseball and Everything In-Between

The Mt. Rushmore of World Wrestling Entertainment

By John Napolitano

            Three million tourists travel to Keystone, South Dakota, every year where lies one of the most recognizable national landmarks in the United States, Mt. Rushmore. A gargantuan sculpture carved into the granite of the sacred Black Hills, Mt. Rushmore displays the faces of four of the most iconic and influential presidents in United States history. The faces include that of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln. This grand homage to some of the most instrumental figures in our country’s history has set them apart as four of the greatest presidents ever – atop the mountain if you will.

            The term “Mt. Rushmore” has almost taken on another context entirely in reference to the four greatest individuals of a certain discipline. One may often hear devoted New York Yankees fanatics discussing the “Mt. Rushmore” of the franchise. Further north it is not uncommon to hear Bostonians debate the four greatest Celtics of all-time. Across the reaches of the Internet Wrestling Community, many a hardcore fan delight to dispute the “Mt. Rushmore” of World Wrestling Entertainment. I would like to cease the arguments for I have found the four most iconic and influential representations of the WWE and would like to present them to you. As a quick disclaimer, I would like to note that I will not be discussing the “Mt. Rushmore” of professional wrestling as a whole. That is another conversation for another day.

            The first face on the Mt. Rushmore of World Wrestling Entertainment is, similar to George Washington, the founding father of what would become a global juggernaut. Yes, the first granite representation of the WWE is none other than Hulk Hogan. Debuting in the WWE in 1983, Hulk Hogan would lead the charge in transforming professional wrestling into sports entertainment. This epic reformation would reinvent the WWE as no longer a mere New York territory, but the undisputed industry leader with Hulk Hogan at the forefront of this revolution. In reference to the inaugural President of the United States and the American Revolution, Hulk Hogan turned the WWE, a small colonial territory, into an independent country with a brand new set of ideals and credos. Like President George Washington to the United States, Hulk Hogan is perhaps the most influential figure in the WWE’s history, as without him, the landscape would be drastically different.

            Thomas Jefferson is the second face of the iconic Mt. Rushmore; his term on top followed that of George Washington’s and proved that the ideals of the United States could withstand adversity as he verified the country’s legitimacy. When I hear this description of the second face of Mt. Rushmore, I automatically envision the second face of the WWE’s Mt. Rushmore as “The Heartbreak Kid’s” Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels was not the immediate incumbent to Hulk Hogan as the face of the WWE, but he was one of the most influential. He really emphasized the aspect of “sport” in sports entertainment and regularly put on “Broadway” classics with some of his greatest opponents. He was the first WWE Superstar to get over as a self-absorbed heel and transition into the number one babyface. He innovated the ‘tweener’ persona while garnering countless championships and cementing his legacy into WWE history. Without question, Shawn Michaels is the second face of the WWE Mt. Rushmore.

            The third face of the iconic Mt. Rushmore is that of Theodore Roosevelt. As the most recent of the four presidents atop Mt. Rushmore, his legacy compares to that of John Cena’s. The most shocking comparison to be made between the 26^th President of the United States and the 15-time World Champion is that they both took on all challengers and adversaries to defend what they so dearly cherished. Teddy Roosevelt was known as a trustbuster, meaning he took on big businesses and monopolies in order to preserve competition within industry and look out for the small businesses. John Cena has been a babyface ever since his debut and has never slighted his slogan of “Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect.” Neither of these gentlemen have sold out to further their career, they have simply stuck to their guns and represented themselves in an inspiring and admirable manner. Had President Roosevelt let big business run amuck throughout his presidency, his legacy would be similar to Seth Rollins’ who sold out to the Authority to further his career. But because he stayed true to himself and his country, he shall be represented by John Cena as the third face of the WWE Mt. Rushmore.

            We cannot forget the fourth and final face of Mt. Rushmore; and that is none other than Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln is widely regarded as the greatest president in the history of the United States because he kept the country together despite the South threatening its bonds. In a true test of our country’s mettle, Lincoln made it through a Civil War in order to make a more perfect Union. Lincoln’s resumé is eerily similar to the “Texas Rattlesnake” Stone Cold Steve Austin’s. Stone Cold Steve Austin reached the height of his popularity during the Monday Night War. The Monday Night War was a primetime battle between the WWE (North) and WCW (South) for ratings supremacy. The WWE emerged from this war as the undisputed destination for sports entertainment with Stone Cold Steve Austin to thank. Both Abraham Lincoln and Stone Cold Steve Austin had short tenures on top, but their contributions saved this country and more importantly the WWE.

            There you have it ladies and gentlemen. Similar, in more ways than one, to their political counterparts, the four faces on the Mt. Rushmore of the WWE are Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Tweet me @HeelByDesign to let me know what you think!